Getting On My Nerves

Me & my wife both came from "traditional" families where our parents used to spank or cane us when we were kids. It was believed to be the most effective disciplinary method according to old timers. However, after years of research and analyses, physcologists discovered that corporal punishment might lead to the development of "rebellious traits" when kids become teenagers. Spanking is believed to make children think that problems could be solves through violence.

We do not normally spank our toddler son but sometimes he just gets on our nerves. We read that warning them verbally "1-2-3" before spanking them like how our parents used to do to us in the past does not really help. Therefore, we had to resolve to a softer approach, which is coaxing. Sometimes he will listen. However, when he wears his "rebel hat", his cheekiness + refusal to follow orders + whining could drive us in sane!

I could still recall bending and hiding all my parent's canes when I was young so that I could get rid of the "pain punishments". We used to "run away" from the canes but they kept landed on our backsides no matter where we hid. My wife told me that she also did the same too and his brother even threatened her mom that he will report her to the authorities!

My parents never let us learn martial arts when we were young. They said we might mis-hit our kids but I think people who learn martial arts will be able to control their actions more?

We do not want to use the cane as a disciplinary tool, so we don't have any at home. We tend to give in to him often and not spank him (but not pamper him). We used to use our hands to spank him but thought it might land too hard on him. In the end we resorted to using a wooden spoon (used for stirring in a pot) in place of a cane. We want our son to treat us with respect and not fear. Whenever he acts mischeviously, I will warn him that it is not good to do so. If he still does not listen then I will try to use persuasion (sometimes a little bit of bribery & threats) & taking away his priviliges (keep his toys on top of the fridge or pretend to give them away).

If all necessary measures have been taken but he still refused to obey, I had to smack his backside with the wooden spoon (not too hard though). I know that it is not painful but he will always break into tears. Sometimes we hit him with the wooden spoon on his palm.

I hope he does not use this post againts us in the future as proof of receiving corporal punishment from his parents!